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+--- Thread: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? (/thread-2785.html)
divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Peach - 08-14-2009
Every day hundreds or thousand families put in their passports the stamp -divorced. Why two people who loved, not see life without one another ,get to this limit? Or maybe not the right pink glasses they wear?
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Nathan - 08-15-2009
tragedy for children - tragedy, freedom for woman, for man - happiness. that is the bestway (children suffer anyway, why not make). The worst is when for whole family is a tragedy.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - hellodear - 08-17-2009
I think to built a family means hardly working among the relationship. And if somebody of the family members doesn't want to work above it, it leads to the conflict.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Faw_Peter - 08-17-2009
To qualify the divorce is important the situation between spouses. But usually the reason is often another person, that is a new passion, a new love of husband or wife. For children is always tragic, they suffer the most. And if children suffer,suffer and one parent, usually the wife. For man is freedom.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - hellodear - 08-17-2009
Faw_Peter Wrote:To qualify the divorce is important the situation between spouses. But usually the reason is often another person, that is a new passion, a new love of husband or wife. For children is always tragic, they suffer the most. And if children suffer,suffer and one parent, usually the wife. For man is freedom.
It seems me there are the words of a young man. An elder one, having children and a new passion, will have her as a fancy woman, without to go out of his children and his family.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Big_Becka - 08-18-2009
Faw_Peter Wrote:For children is always tragic, they suffer the most. And if children suffer,suffer and one parent, usually the wife. For man is freedom.The day when my parents divorced was the happiest day of my life!
All those years when I was woken up by my parents arguing... they were hell. They refused to divorce for many years. Watching my mother slide into Depression and take pills every day because she was so unhappy: that was the real tragedy.
And then watching my Dad struggle to cope... I wish they had got divorced sooner!I remember my mother telling my sister and I that having children had ruined her life. She educated us to think that your life is over the day you get married. This obviously destroyed our relationship with her. And now I have problems because I knew nothing about beauty or housework or children when I left home... I am very lucky to have a boyfriend who is patient with me while I learn!
Once my mother left, she became a much happier, better person.
She still suffers because she held herself back for all those years when she was married, and had no job or money for much of the time. She was unable to get a good job because she had made herself ill trying to be a stay-at-home wife, and had not worked for so many years :nonnon So, girls, be prepared for this! Do not quit your job! 
uper Just a note: I think my Dad found the divorce harder. There was no other lover involved for either parent. For my mother it was freedom, but I think my Dad got labelled as a failure, even though it wasn't his fault :-( Fortunately, he now has a girlfriend and is much happier with her :-)
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Riser - 08-18-2009
I was indifferent to divorce of my parents. It was all very peaceful, seems no reasons for divorce did not exist because my parents was in good relations. Maybe the distance probably has left the imprint on our family. My mother alreday 15 years is working and living in Greece. likely that a decision was not easy but everyone deserves to be happy and how they lived thousands of km away there was to much space for happiness.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Steven - 08-20-2009
I think that people divorce of serious reasons, and for each couple are different. I do not want to classify their status, all is different. I hope I do not get to this stage. I really want to believe in happiness until deep old age with one woman.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - M.Helen - 09-24-2009
Reasons for separation: secrets
Today increasingly more couples tend to split apart (there are all kinds of studies and statistics, such as one, two or one of three couples divorce, the predominant parent families, etc.). Women's roles and male roles are changed and constantly modified throughout time. Women no longer fills fulfilled with the traditional mother's role and the husband no longer wants to assume the responsibility in taking decisions.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - M.Helen - 09-24-2009
Secrets
Is there any danger in telling the truth and nothing but the truth?
Problem with what we say and what not is eventually limited to know the difference between secrecy and privacy. It is very important to be able to make this difference. It is necessary and vital to everybody's health in a relationship as for each individual himself to be tolerant. Many people tend to disclose everything about their past at the start of a relationship which is wrong - these people have no sense of privacy.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - M.Helen - 09-24-2009
The only way we can have healthy relationships is living and acting. For any of us there are certain features of our personality which we are very happy to talk about, but some of them - we prefer to keep them deep inside. Hence the need to control and balance your character and therefor balance the entire relationship
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - M.Helen - 09-24-2009
Our cultural environment causes people to doubt the loyalty of those close. That is why, insecure people who are afraid to lose control or to be judged or rejected, turn everything into something intimate, like a desperate attempt to keep their balance. I mean they make everything in secret like a defense mechanism, a way to hide from the trick and avoid suffering.
Often the secrecy is a confrontation with some great way to find out if the new partner deserves to be chosen. But you can not really know a person by enjoying only fun and enjoyable things, but when he discloses the depths of his soul.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - M.Helen - 09-24-2009
Besides being necessary to make sure that we start in life with a suitable partner, we should take care of our own individual aspects. Quite often various unpleasant and unfortunate experiences that had on us profound impacts are still watching us during our life. Keeping secrets prevent personal development and evolution.
Many people are ashamed of the actions or their past behavior and therefor are continuously suffering, without the ability to forgive themselves. Inability to forgive yourself leads to a terrifying fear of being rejected or hated by those we love, which is part of a form of perpetual self punishment.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - M.Helen - 09-24-2009
Sometimes secrets are ways and means by which people are struggling to avoid serious and distressing problems that exist in a relationship. Keeping this secret will means that this situation or problem will continue forever. Trying to improve a relationship by making everything to look perfect, ensuring that you'll never be caught lying ,are not the right tools to build a healthy and loving relationship. To win trust and credibility of your partner one should never ever let even a single impression that the other one can be fooled . :livre
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - M.Helen - 09-24-2009
The sad result on keeping secrets in a relationship is that you are alone with your fears and problems. Each of us are unique, distinct entities, different. We all face more difficulties if we fight with someone. Nobody is loved because his perfect - we love that we show the compassion, fragility, tenderness, concern for others, humor, sesibilitate, reliability, etc..
There will never be place for good when a secret will come out. It is better to swallow our pride, to acknowledge the truth and face it together with your partner. All our relationship becomes stronger when partners are faced with difficulties and ordeals.
We can not love if we do not trust. :love
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Peach - 09-25-2009
According to a study by specialists of the Center for Psychology and Psychotherapy Action, the problems of divorce derive from two main causes: external (social) and internal (psychological). Freedom family left leads to authentic expression of what happens in case of couples. However divorce gives people freedom in both social and psychological matter. Internal problems in a family must be subject to swift solution, otherwise you risk damaging your state of mind.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Peach - 09-25-2009
You see, the point is there are circumstances that hinder us from receiving this freedom. For example - children. Often mothers are patient about their husbands just because they love children and don't want them to suffer. However it's not a problem. When children are aged under 5, they don't really realize what is going on, and you can just say that "Daddy loves you, but he wants to live in another house".
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Peach - 09-25-2009
After divorcing, people's inner world is changing radically. I said it brings freedom, and it really does. Still, the divorce brings a feeling of emptiness into your soul. It's a gap, which can be covered only after you find a new partner, and be prepared it may take months and even years in row.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Peach - 09-25-2009
Often, divorces are also caused by children, when they become teenagers. Parents have different view against to what their children must behave like. One is conservative and wants him to become an intelligent economist, another is more modern and wants the child to be a great dancer. In the end, this quarrel leads to divorce.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Peach - 09-25-2009
A divorce known as "Third Person divorce" occurs because of a third "party". Well usually it's a mistress/lover. These divorces are most dangerous and unwelcomed, since it may result in further hatred against each other, which, in turn, is awful for children.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Peach - 09-25-2009
Other sorts of divorces occur when marriage reaches its "peak", its maturity. The two persons do respect each other and behave as friends. Nevertheless, they both realized that love without passion can't maintain the marriage. They want to fall in love again with another person, thereby divorcing.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Peach - 09-25-2009
Spouses' jobs is not the least reason for divorcing. Do you call it a marriage when one spouse is permanently leaving for business trips, while another one stays home and takes care of the house and children. It's inadmissible. The family can be maintained only if the other spouse is taken in that business trip!
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Peach - 09-25-2009
When one partner applies too much pressure over the other one, the latter isn't resisting. For example: husband may prohibit his wife from wearing short skirts, beatiful dress, high-heeled shoes etc. Well then, unless he opens up his eyes and realize she can't live without all this stuff, they divorce. He takes this stuff as something irrelevant, whilst for her, this stuff is her life.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - Peach - 09-25-2009
Unreasoned divorce - is a divorce that took place just because partners didn't show patience and respect against each other. They were too fast, unreasonable and impulsive. It happens within peppy couples. Spouses divorce, then they realize they can't live without the other's presence... so they get married later again.
Re: divorce- tragedy, happiness or freedom? - FreeThinker - 09-25-2009
hmm .. longggggggg posts