European Union Forums

[Faw_Peter]

I am sick of having girlfriends that are jealous on me. I am not even allowed to speak to any girl because they consider it a potential threat. But, they don't understand I'm just a communicative person. Is that normal? What do I do? Should I keep allowing them forbidding me to speak to other girls?

[Steven]

You actually should be happy your girls are jealous on you. That's a way to go! You haven't thought about the positive parts - you can manipulate them and thereby do whatever you want.

[Benn]

Jealousy could be a good test performed by girls to notice if their boyfriends care about them. Thus, men should stop that by paying more attention. Actually, a girl would never make her boyfriend nervous if he makes her happy indeed.

[Faw_Peter]

When guys are jealous, they usually don't want their girls/women to look beautiful. This fact make them really nervous and anxious.

[Big_Becka]

Peter, I can tell from your posts that you are a communicative person, and it does not surprise me your girlfriend gets jealous!

But, you should be yourself, and not change for anybody I don't think it's normal for you to be forbidden to speak to anyone else.

There are 2 things I would suggest:

1) is there a reason your girlfriend get jealous? Like, maybe she got dumped by an ex-boyfriend? Or maybe she doesn't think she's as pretty as the other girls you talk to? Or maybe she feels you're out of her league? Perhaps you look like you're having more fun with other people than with her (if she gets jealous a lot, this is possible!)

2) Do you put a lot of effort into your appearance or manners when you go out with friends, but don't bother so much when you stay in with her? (Most people do this!) Maybe you could show some affection for her by making an effort when you spend a day or evening with her? But be careful not to directly reward her for negative behaviour, or she might turn into a nag

BTW: Benn & Steven - you are such cynics! I am sure you're right about at least some girls

[Faw_Peter]

Thanks for giving a cared response Becka I really appreciate that
I should say I am communicative, indeed. Sometimes I talk more than on average girls do
So perhaps you are right. I may not be paying much attention to my girlfriends, and this what makes them jealous. That's because I don't wanna feel I'm tied. I am free and like to act freely. Don't like commitments.

[M.Helen]

well dear Peter, remember love means commitment. Girls don't want simple relations, they wanna be loved. When you love it means you don't wanna pay attention to anybody but to your love. So, you're just washing up the brains of your girlfriend, you don't love her.

[Big_Becka]

Hehehe, so true, M.Helen! There are a few girls who want casual relationships, but not many - it goes against our genetic programming

[M.Helen]

Right Becka. It's also due to the different quantity of hormones in men's and women's bodies. When hormones "manifest" themselves, you want casual relations (which usually happen to men), when they are "silent" you want lasting relationships.

[Steven]

Right Becka. It's also due to the different quantity of hormones in men's and women's bodies. When hormones "manifest" themselves, you want casual relations (which usually happen to men), when they are "silent" you want lasting relationships.

you're just playing with us, just they way we're playing with you. I would say the advantage is on your side, that's because your beauty and men's readiness to do anything for you, are your main weapons, quite dangerous weapons.

[Andrewz]

did you ask yourself why one feels jealousy? Well, jealousy is all about fear. Behind jealousy there is an unmet need or a deep fear that our needs will not be met. Recognizing these fears and is the key to baring jealousy and taking away its power

[Terry]

People, control your jealousy. Remember, if you're permanently jealous against your partner, you could do things which you never expected you can, in normal condition. Don't get in fights, balance your mind, and try watching things from another point of view. Maybe you're jealous for nothing.

[Faw_Peter]

People, control your jealousy. Remember, if you're permanently jealous against your partner, you could do things which you never expected you can, in normal condition. Don't get in fights, balance your mind, and try watching things from another point of view. Maybe you're jealous for nothing.

you're right. Many stay in prison because of the consequences of jealousy - they killed their girl/boyfriend for cheating, or, even worse, for suspecting they are cheating. It is not worth it!

[Laurentine]

Love is a symbol of disinterestedness, selflessness and self-abnegation. It's generous and open for the entire world. And here comes jealousy - desire to withhold, appropriate etc. These are incompatible feelings.

[Steven]

I consider these feelings might be very much alike, they can be friends and closer to reality is that they can't live without each other. If one is jealous this means he cares. Generally, I once heard a Russian saying "If he beats you, he loves you!"

[Terry]

Jealousy destroys relationships. If you are jealous this means that you don't trust your partner, don't respect yourself or your self-esteem is low. Psychologists consider that is a partner is very jealous about nothing, he is supposed to be that who is cheating!

[hellodear]

I am sick of having girlfriends that are jealous on me. I am not even allowed to speak to any girl because they consider it a potential threat. But, they don't understand I'm just a communicative person. Is that normal? What do I do? Should I keep allowing them forbidding me to speak to other girls?

I think to solve the problem you need to have the same communicative girlfriend And you will communicate together

[Lorry]

I think thats happening because girls doesn't trust you, because they are afraid to loose you. Maybe because they loves you, they carry on you and want to be just with you, nobody else. You should sure the girl that she is the only one person for you, that you love her very much and you are able to protect her whatever will happen.

[Martin]

I think a relation could not have a chance if it is not based on the trust. It is the main point that a relationship should have. The second is understanding, if there is no understanding in a relationship how can you go further in this relation. I think people should pay more attention to it's loving person for that it could have trust in it.

[M.Helen]

Who are the most jealous men or women?
If one day your partner tells you that he/she is attracted by another person, how you react?

Specifically, imagine the following situation (if you are female, substitute "love" with "boyfriend" and "man" with "woman" and vice versa).

A. You are at a party with your girlfriend and you talk with a group of friends. Please note that your girlfriend is on the other end of the room and she speaks with a man that you do not know. During the evening, you lose her from your sight. The next day your beloved will say that last night, she kissed so passionately that man, and that she rarely felt a so intense sexual arousal with a man. But she ensure you that it is just about a physical attraction, a sexual one and, that she has no feelings for him.

[M.Helen]

B. You are at a party with your girlfriend and talk to a group of friends. Please note that your girlfriend is on the other end of the room and she speaks with a man that you do not know. During the evening, you lose her from you sight. The next day, your girlfriend will say that she had a great contact with that man and that has never met someone with whom to speak so. On a personal level, she feels connected with him in a unique and special way. However, ensures you that does not feel any sexual desire towards him. It is not about a physical attraction, is just a very friendly relation, and she already feels very attached to him.

[M.Helen]

What you feel?

In 2004, Buunk and Djikstra, researchers at the University of Groningen, the Netherlands, have given to 151 people to read one or other of these two texts. The girls received the same text, just sex of the friends was changed, in case it was a man. Along with the text, the participants received and photo of the courtesan. This appeared to be a very beautiful person or a ordinary one. There is also a short description of the person who introduced himself as a very dominant or very little dominant. Then all participants were asked to complete a questionnaire where had to write how jealous they were, disturbed, doubtful, sad, anxious, etc..

[M.Helen]

The researchers noted that men were very jealous when the person who was in the company of their beloved was socially dominant. Conversely, to women, jealousy has reached its peak when the girl was very beautiful. In short, for the man, the danger came from the rival of social status, while for women it was rather about the physical appearance of the competitor. The reason?

[M.Helen]

Women will assess the social status of man

Before engaging in a long term relationship, women will assess the social status of men. It is not the only size that will take into account, but is an important one. Because a man "social dominant " will may provide to the family the sufficient resources, especially for his progeny, this criteria is more important for women than for men. Men so, will be, in competition with the sexual basis. Therefore, they will be particularly attentive to the rival status, in case of attempted seduction of his beloved.

[M.Helen]

Men pays special attention to physical attraction

In contrast, men more than women, pays special attention to the physical attraction of his future partner. It is assumed that since ancient times and long after, beautiful women serves to men as a signal to infer their fertility. Women will thus be very alert to the beauty of their rivals, to which men are very sensitive.